Worst. Summer. Ever.

Wow, how motivated was I the last time I posted something? Quite, it appeared. Well, just having a diagnosis is not enough. I have run into some other obstacles...such as Hyperurecemia. My uric acid level in my blood is high. Almost gout. Old me get gout, not me. Guess again. My joints, while not swollen, hurt like hell, making it impossible for me to loose one ounce of extra weight because I can not exercise. This is becoming tiresome.

There is only one thing I can do, and that is try again (and again and again and again if I have to). My goal for today is to just get my mess of a house back in order (and to get my family on board so that the daily unordering of things ceases.) Tomorrow I would like to get some extra rest, maybe carve pumpkins with the kids and get ready for the week ahead. I go back to the rheumatologist on Tuesday, so hopefully she will have something positive to say.

For now, it is time for motrin and flexeril so that I can move.

Loving it.

I'm baaaaaack!!

It has been a while, and a lot has happened to me while I was away. I have spent the past eight months feeling pretty lousy for the most part. After much frustration and many medical tests and doctor's office visits, it would appear the cause has been identified!! I got a diagnosis of Lupus and Fibromyalgia. While I am not pleased, I must say I do feel a great sense of relief knowing that I am not crazy nor a hypochondriac - because, believe me, I was really starting to feel like one!

So where do I go from here. Well, I have had a great inspiration for the past fifteen or so years. have watched my mother deal with the same illnesses since she was diagnosed then. (Because, lucky me, auto-immune diseases happen to like to prey upon families...stupid genetics!) So, I know I can live with this, and not just get through a day, but actually live. This summer all I have done is get through a day. So I started some new medications, so that added to the overall taking care of myself better, as I have been doing since all of this started, perhaps I will get some relief and rest. Maybe I will even have the strength to start working out again - I crave the energy that exercise gives me!

So I will be patient a while longer, pushing myself to do a little more each day to enjoy it. The kids and I discussed what we will be doing in regards to school this year, and they want to continue homeschooling. They both understand how important it is that they do their work and listen while I teach them. They have also helped me create what will be our "lesson plan", so I think that is getting them excited. We are officially starting on August 24, and they are both looking forward to learning more! That helps!!

So that is the story...more soon!

February

It is now...the stupid groundhog saw his shadow. It is cold. I am over winter. Totally.

All thanks to my husband...

I got home from work and felt like hell warmed over twice. I had to run some errands, and really needed the kids to cooperate - Gabriel woke up having a bad day...that is NEVER good. Scott, knowing how bad I have been feeling, suggested that I bribe the kids with a trip to Build a Bear to spend their gift cards and Bear Bucks, or whatever they are called, that we have collected over the past month or two. So, after getting irritated in line because we had the S-L-O-W-E-S-T cashier ever ringing us up, I need to remind myself that there is a reason behind everything.

As we were walking to the door to get to the parking deck, I saw her standing next to the stroller, attending to her daughter as they prepared to leave the mall. Lisa...(schmang...long story). I had not seen her in YEARS! I have never forgiven myself for missing her wedding, and after she married just completely lost her. So sad...we were like sisters. I have missed her this whole time! And then all of a sudden, there she was, standing twenty feet from me!! What a happy day!

We chatted for a few minutes and discovered we were both on facebook so she promised to "friend" me when she got home. After chatting for maybe ten minutes, its like she has been there all along. We still have A LOT of catching up to do, but at least we can!

All thanks to the suggestion of my husband! Thanks Scott! I love you!

Les Miserables

Not looking for sympathy, just sharing my life.
I have been very sick...it all goes back to November. I found out that I had a large fibroid in my uterus, and had it removed surgically. That was the beginning of the snowball. I haven't felt right since...it has morphed. I have negative energy. Just sitting her typing is hard. I am sad (and I already know that I meed the criteria for depression, which is why I am taking an anti depressant.) I just want to feel like me again. My liver is screwed up and I have to go in for repeat bloodwork all the time. I spent my birthday in the hospital. I am producing gall stones, but I don't have a gall bladder. This probably explains the elevated liver levels, because where else does it have to go?? I can't eat without my stomach hurting or rejecting what I ingested. I more than likely have some kind of auto immune disease...whatever that disease is has yet to be determined. It could be a while before it is determined.

For now, all I want to do is sleep. I force myself to get up and do things, but it hurts to do that. I can not win right now.

Happy New Year

I know, I know...its been a long time since I posted anything....it has been busy!! First of all, I had surgery in November and felt horrible for a while afterward. Then it was Thanksgiving...Gabriel's birthday...everyone got sick...then all of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, it was Christmas! It seemed like it came up so fast! Other than me being sick on Christmas Day, the holidays were nice, although I don't feel like I had chance to enjoy the build up to them like I usually do - not enough time! New Year's Eve was fun...we went to our neighbor's house and played board games. We had a blast!! Everyone make it to midnight. The kids were very excited! Plus, all we had to do was walk 30 feet home. Not bad!

So on to 2009. I have decided to follow the lead of a friend of mine, and not call them resolutions, but rather life changes. Here is what I hope to accomplish this year...

1. Do everything in my power to be the best mother and wife possible - I never feel like I do enough!

2. Make more time for me...which I really do not do! It will probably will have a better time of number one if I do this!!

3. A complete lifestyle change that includes proper diet, exercise and enough sleep! I am hoping to lose about 55 pounds this year. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. It is time to help myself out of it!

4. I would like to become more organized. Perhaps increasing my sleep with aid in this!

5. Try to work on the book I started and maybe even finish it!

Ummm..that is all I can think of for now...I don't want to try too many things and fail, so maybe this is enough!

Happy New Year all!

Ahhh...to be all washed up...

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/11/25/4-signs-that-joey-fatone-just-flushed-whatever-last-dribble-of-integrity-he-had-left-down-the-times-square-toilet/